Bingo: That extreme sport played only by the boldest daredevils. You wish you could attempt the game yourself, but thus far, courage has failed you. At night, as you lay awake, staring at the plastic stars on your ceiling, your darkest fears become a reality. “Maybe I just don’t have what it takes to become a Bingo player. Maybe I don’t have the guts and the grit, the iron will or the drive. Maybe it’s just a pipe dream. Perhaps I should just give up, and try to master Scrabble instead.”
The next morning, after a rushed Dunkin Donuts breakfast of boiled dirt water and fried grease on a defrosted bagel, you nervously scurry off to work your 8-hour shift at Bureaucrats R US. As you approach the bleak concrete building, artistically styled after post-War Eastern Europe, you see a sharp figure in a tailored shark skin Bond suit crossing the street. His gait is powerful and decisive. In fact, he is the Personification of Confidence. And in his hand…a Bingo card!
You quickly check your watch. It’s 7:57! You’ll going to be late for that board meeting, The Values of Complacency and Sustainable Status Quo. You reach toward the door and hesitate. It’s now or never. Ray Bradbury pops in your head. The British believe, the Americans doubt. “Bingo was his Name-O,” you whisper.
Turning on your heels, you exclaim, “You there! Stop!” The Personification of Confidence looks up. He waits for you to cross the street, and for you to catch your breath. You’re not in shape like a Bingo player should be, you realize. It doesn’t matter.
“Sir,” your stammer. “I want to be just like you! A rogue, a dapper warrior, a carpe diem adventurer adrenaline junkie! I want to join the ranks, and go down in the annals of history as a Bingo Player!”
The Personification of Confidence smiles. “Once, I was just like you. Lost, afraid, wandering through life without a purpose. Then one day, I stumbled upon a website. There, I found an entire collection of free printable Bingo cards! As I scrolled down the page, I discovered more valuable printables: Bingo numbers, Bingo tokens, and even a blank bingo card template. It was then that I realized my destiny as a Bingo player. You too must go to this website. There you will find the materials you need to achieve your dreams.”
“What is the url of this miraculous page?” you reply.
The Personification of Confidence speaks. “Tim van de Vall dot Com.”
And you’re already there! Wow, you’re good. Yes, I can tell, you’re going to achieve extraordinary things.